Thursday, 29 March 2018


It has been more than a while and I am happy to report that I am feeling much better. One of my principal goals for 2018 is to be more open and share the good, bad and the ugly. We are all stuck in this weird social media lifestyle where everything looks perfect even when it isn't. This is personally offensive to me as from a young age I always struggled with the concept that people can hide how they feel. It makes me very distrusting, and I don't mean in the sense where you pretend to like a gift that you despise to spare someone's feelings. I mean when you pretend to be happy and everything is hunky dory when it could't be further from the truth. We would all be better off we were honest about how we were feeling all the time. It is easy to say but something I find difficult to do. Something always holds me back from opening up, either guilt or fear of judgement and lately a fear that something is very very wrong with me.

The things that helped me the most is honesty. I don't mean telling everyone your business, but there are always a few select people that you inevitably turn to if you are struggling at work or in a relationship. There is no reason you can't talk to them about how you are feeling. Most of all though, and I can't stress this enough be honest with yourself. If you are struggling then admit it. I am a firm believer that you are your own best asset and I have been striving for independence for such a long time, there is no shame in admitting you need help or accepting that things aren't going to plan. But you need to be honest with yourself, give yourself a break. Cry if you want to cry, watch a comedy show. On that note, here are a quick list of things that made me happy for invaluable moments in 2018.

1. I made some new friends and reconnected with some old friends. I love meeting new people, London happens to be a hotbed full of interesting people from all over the world and it is my favourite thing. With friendships, I prefer to be in a one-on-one setting and spending extended amount of time with great people talking about everything and nothing heals my soul.

2. After people are places. There are so many great places really close to me that I can lose myself in, reading, writing and revising. To get back into blogging, I am going to make a solid effort to spend some time in some amazing cafes and bars to invest more time into blogging and I really look forward to it. I plan to do a post on my favourite places, so please let me know in the comments if you would like that.

3. Comedy. This is slightly weird but after a particularly gruelling day when I received some bad news I relented at 3am attempting to escape my misery and scrolled through Netflix. I watched Russell Howard's Comedy Show and it literally literally changed my whole demeanour for hours beyond the duration of the show. This sounds so strange, but for that hour and a half I felt completely free of all my worries and when I think about it my mood lifts. It is odd to have such a strong personal reaction to just watching a show in bed, but I am so grateful for it because it made me realise the value of distractions. I have the utmost respect for all comedians not only because they immeasurably improve my mood and their bread and butter is literally laughter but also because it is quite common for comedians to suffer with depression and they make their darkest times a source of entertainment for us. It is heartbreaking and hilarious at the same time.

4. My love for reality shows will never die and I wish I could say I was sorry but I really am not. I have been watching Queer Eye on Netflix which is a revamped version of the old show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, where a group of gay men with different expertise (fashion, culture, food, grooming and interior design) makeover a man (sometimes straight, sometimes gay) and his home. It is really really good and totally restores your faith in humanity, I cried at every episode, they were all so moving and every person is incredible. I adore this show, it is on par with Ru Paul's Drag Race for me. All I want out of life is to just sit and listen to people's stories, their struggle, their heartache, their humanity and I will die happy. There are only eight episodes so I am definitely going to try and find the original series.

5. The wild outdoors. Surprisingly, I have flipped from being a homebody to wanting to be outside of my house as much as possible, at least in London. Let me tell you, my bank account is not happy. I feel lighter when I am outside and around other people, it regulates my behaviour more and having that control over my emotions makes me feel stronger. If you are going through a stressful time I highly recommend this.

6. Food. I can eat an unjustifiable amount of junk food. I am someone who if I am in the mood for a Kit Kat and I don't have one I will go out and buy a jumbo pack, plus some biscuits, and a snack bag of Twirl, maybe a Galaxy bar and some Pringles. Just so I never feel like this again. And I feel like shit, because I spent money on things that are both bad for me and not necessarily something I want anymore. Why am I such an impulse buyer! I went home and bought some snack pots of fruit to munch on while I revise in the library and I feel like a deity for eating fruit at my own choosing. I ordered avocado on toast the other day and colour in my food makes me happy. Eating healthier makes me feel better about myself. I want to stop turning to quick fixes to feel better and start viewing vegetables and nutrition as being just as delicious and just as rewarding as a chocolate bar. Also I bought ice cream which is directly correlated to my happiness. Facts. I am on the hunt for some vegan ice cream though if you know of any!

Wow, thank you for reading. I feel like I got a lot off my chest. I look forward to being back on here. I really have missed you and I am going to dedicate most of the day to catching up on blog posts, can't wait to read everyone's! Hope you are all having a fantastic week, my exams are over, I just returned from Mykonos (my sister's hen) and I am back home, for Easter break, where I can have bubble baths and make a mess in the kitchen. Things feel much better now. Please tell me how you have been in the comments, if you are comfortable sharing. Otherwise, I am always available via Twitter, email or Instagram. I don't want any of you to feel like you are alone with your problems. Take care.

How have you been, what cheers you up?


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  1. I cannot wait to read about your favourite places!! Thanks for sharing! I've been okay. I'm currently sick so that's no fun!

    Effortlessly Sophisticated

  2. Loved this post, it's so nice to reflect on things that make you happy xliv


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